My Story of Healing and Body Positivity
You don’t have to be a prisoner to the pain. I want you to strip away the layers that are holding you back. Now’s the time to start your journey on discovering your Brazenly Beautiful soul.
I invite you to read my story and how I healed the relationship I had with my body, began living and learned how to be truly BRAZENLY BEAUTIFUL.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
I have been a dancer since the time I could walk. I learned at a very early age to rely on my mirror to tell me the way things should be. It told me about my body and my talent. I learned what looked good and was pleasing, and what was out of place.
I was a natural when it came to dancing. There was no higher satisfaction for me than the praise and admiration of the audience, even at four. This was probably the beginning of my torrid love affair with praise and criticism.
When I was doing everything right, I was on top of the world, if I received a correction from my instructor, I was devastated, especially when it came to my body.
If Only I…
As I got a little older, I used to watch myself in class. In my mind, I would think, “everything is perfect, except my tummy.” If only I could suck it in harder, do a few more sit-ups. I could skip dinner. I thought if just I lost a little more weight, I could be truly happy. I thought my body was the thing holding me back. I was afraid if I let my stomach go, they might figure out I’m not perfect, they could see where I hid my deepest pain. My fear, my doubts about myself and self-hatred were all right there, living just south of my belly button.
Too Fat and Not Good Enough?
As time went on, I went to great lengths to achieve the perfect physique, I continued my education in dance through college, and after I graduated, I was cast in a Las Vegas Review. It was a classic Vegas show, with feathers, rhinestones, and scantily-clad goddesses parading around under bright lights.
At the peak of my career, I was 30 pounds underweight, and despite all my best efforts to fit in, I was often told I was too fat, I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t have the right shape.
After a while, it got exhausting hiding from the world. I blamed all of my problems in my life on my weight. When there was criticism that endorsed my negative self-talk, I dove deeper into the hatred. I went to any length possible to keep myself in the illusion of perfection.
Eventually, I left the show, no longer having the identity and validation of being a Showgirl, I spiraled into alcohol addiction, binge and purging, and depression.
I quit dancing. I tried to navigate the new waters, but my intuition had been broken for a long time. I didn’t know how to trust myself. In trying to make my “gut” disappear, I forgot how to listen to it. I swirled for years in confusion about my body and my worth, a chaos tornado of my own making.
Healing and Body Positivity – Self-Love and Self-Respect
It wasn’t for many years until the relationship with my body began to change for me. I realized I had spent too much time postponing my joy and waiting around to be someone else’s idea of perfect before I would allow myself to be loved.
I began my journey of healing and body positivity and focused on my recovery. I rewrote the stories in my head. I learned how to accept and have an appreciation for the amazing gift of my body. I found ways to grow in self-confidence, which included body confidence.
I realized I didn’t have to stop being sexy. Being Sexy didn’t have to be shallow or based on society. Real sincere sexy was about being comfortable with who I am, in my own body.
I let go of the shame, the guilt, and other people’s expectations of the way I should look.
I learned that the only thing that really had to change was my perspective.
I discovered parts of my soul that had been buried for a long time.
Most importantly, I learned to respect and love myself, just as I am, in every chapter of my journey.
Let Me Help You Gain Body Confidence
Above all, I understand how limiting and detrimental the opinion we have of ourselves can be. You don’t have to be a prisoner to the pain. Strip away the layers that are holding you back and let me help you discover your Brazenly Beautiful soul.
Brazenly Beautiful LLC: Mission Statement
and transform the
way Women feel about
their bodies and themselves, in all chapters of life.
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